


Starfuckers

by anuprightfool



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Drugs, I’m sorry, M/M, Sex in later chapters, Slow Burn, This fic is sorta fucked, Zuzu City, farming, im sorry, mentions of non con, more tags tba, obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 02:49:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14967485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anuprightfool/pseuds/anuprightfool
Summary: Ray’s life was falling apart, tearing at the seams. After his family’s rejection, the death of his grandfather and his job Wringing him dry, Ray carved out a path of self destruction. Drugs, sex and alcohol were the only things that made him feel normal anymore.After the loss of his job from one fatal mistake, Ray finally opened the letter his grandfather had given him shortly before his death.With the family farm now under his name, Ray set out to move to Stardew Valley. Would this be the chance to finally set his life straight? He was unsure of his future, but one Sebastian made him want to stay, the boy unknowingly having Ray wrapped around his finger.





	Starfuckers

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy the fic! I’m sorry in advance for the subject matter, please heed the tags before you read!  
> As a disclaimer: I don’t know anything about drugs, I’m just writing my own interpretation from research that I’ve done.
> 
> I’ll be sharing music with you guys that have to do with the chapter, feel free to listen to them while you read! Also I’m unoriginal so the chapter names will also be the song titles 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the read!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad Things- K. Flay: https://youtu.be/qP1f2dN0nDQ

The world was cold; cruel, as some would put it. But that was just a fact of existence. The good and bad happened. But the good only highlighted how truly horrible the world could be. And after his beloved grandfather’s death, the cold, the bad, the darkness of the world seemed to consume Ray. He let his work consume him, working overtime and then some at his desk job at Joja Corp. it kept him busy, kept him from thinking about the darkness seeded deep in his heart.

It became mundane. There was a time Ray actually enjoyed himself, being a drafter for Joja’s architectural branch. He brought new ideas to the table, being an active member of his team. It was rewarding to see his designs come to life, multiple locations of Joja Marts popping up around the city like daisies. Now, Ray resigned himself to sitting in the sidelines, passively working on whatever was shoved in front of him. Some days his chest ached seeing how others succeeded around him while he stagnated at his desk.

Today was one of those days, Ray sitting back in a meeting, his teammates discussing future upgrades to older Joja Mart locations. He simply took notes, but his concentration faltered, his eyes glazing over as he tuned the discussion out, thinking about how his life would be different if his grandfather hadn’t left him so suddenly. He couldn’t have blamed him, of course. Death came for everyone after all. But he couldn’t help but wonder, what could’ve changed if he had time to prepare for it; to do his mourning on his own time. Of course, there was no such thing as an ideal circumstance in the subject of losing a loved one, but Ray still dwelled on it. Could he have kept the darkness at bay? Would he have been able to survive more days sober?

Ray snapped back to reality when he heard his name, focusing once more on his boss. He looked less than pleased at Ray’s daydreaming, arms crossed over his chest. Shit. Ray was on thin ice already, and he was a few short strides away from being demoted or, Yoba forbid, fired.

“Mr. Morris, I expect you to be present during our meetings here.” His boss, Phil, chided Ray.

“Yes sir. Not feeling well today is all.” He responded, fiddling with his pen as he looked down at his pad of paper.

“I am not here for you to throw your excuses at, Mr. Morris.”

“I understand, sir.”

“Speak to me in my office after this meeting. Your performance has been slipping lately.” Phil stated, turning his attention back to the rest of the group.

Ray knew he was in for more than a lecture from Phil, turning his pen around between his fingers before taking down a couple notes, struggling to keep his concentration. He wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t feeling well, but not just mentally. If his lack of memories of the previous night were anything to prove, and his hell of a morning, he was coming down from something more than just overconsumption of alcohol.

When the team meeting finally came to a close, Ray waited until the rest of the group stepped out of the conference room before standing up, gathering his pad and pens before sauntering his way to Phil’s office, practically meeting his boss at the door.

“Come in, Ray.” Phil responded, holding the door open for him.

Ray stepped inside, Phil shutting the door behind them.

“I’ve known you for a long time, Ray. This isn’t like you to be so distant.” Phil leaned against his desk, seemingly more casual outside the conference room. “Your overtime shows you’re not slacking off, but it’s almost like your mind is somewhere else.”

“That’s because it is.” Ray responded, straight to the point, as he stared out the window, where their high rise oversaw half of Zuzu City.

“Care to explain why?” Phil raised an eyebrow at Ray.

“I’m contemplating if I should go to the roof of this building and jump, or if I should quietly hang myself in the closet of my apartment with no one being the wiser.” Ray’s answer was curt, scathing to Phil. “I’ve learned my existence here isn’t important anymore.”

He could tell Phil was caught off guard by his response, by the casual tone of Ray’s voice. And that was exactly what Ray wanted. If he was going to play this game of interrogation with Phil, he might as well attempt to take the upper hand. It worked, too. Phil was walking on eggshells around the conversation now. Ray even smirked, just to add that special cherry on top.

That was when he felt his body being shoved against the office door, Phil’s breath close—his breath warm against Ray’s skin. He flinched at the sudden impact, but met Phil’s glare head on. Phil’s grip on his shoulders was strong, keeping Ray planted. He never expected to get such a rise from his boss like this, almost laughing at the thought. His lips curled up, caught halfway between a smirk and actual laughter.

Phil was shaking now, his eyes misting over. “You said that on purpose, didn’t you? I know you Ray, you’re not like this.” His voice cracked, full of more emotion than expected from the head of Joja’s architectural team.

“And what if I didn’t.” Ray steeled himself, uncomfortable now with their proximity. Phil’s grip tightened on him.

Emotions were high between the two men, most of it coming from Ray’s boss. He was about to pry away and excuse himself, when Phil made another move. Ray barely had time to react as Phil grabbed the sides of his face, crushing their lips together. Stuck between the door and the man’s head, Ray struggled against him.

With a cry and a swift punch to his boss’ gut, Ray managed to wrench himself free, shoving Phil away. Was he completely out of his mind?! Ray would’ve yelled if not for the the full office just beyond the door. Phil staggered away, clutching at his side.

“I’ll be getting back to my work now, sir. And I’ll be sure to keep this discussion in mind.” Ray said cooly, leaving Phil in his office as he walked back over to his desk, setting his paper pad down next to a pile of papers littering the table top.

He sat back in his chair with a sigh, taking a moment to recollect himself. Ray’s thoughts ran in circles, mainly worrying about the safety of his position and how he was going to deal with Phil from then on. Could he even report such an incident to HR? Would they even believe him? Men usually weren’t subject to those sort of advances, as far as Ray knew.

With a groan, Ray ran his hands over his face, as if to wipe away his anxiety. His cubicle neighbor, James, overheard and wheeled out to look at the frazzled man. Ray peeked over at his neighbor, glowering.

“Everything good, man?” James asked, leaning back in his chair, hands tucked behind his head.

Ray simply nodded. He needed more time to focus on his thoughts later. “Yeah, just need to get my shit together, I guess.” He responded, feigning a smile before turning back to his computer, waking it up to check his emails. James must have taken that as an acceptable answer, rolling back over to his desk to continue his own work.

After sorting through piles of spam and replying to some work emails, Ray closed his browser. He checked the time: 4:50 pm. Ten more minutes and he could head home, maybe drink himself stupid to keep his mind from racing again and again over the same thoughts. Phil hadn’t left his office, likely due to the bruise to his stomach and possibly his ego. At least Ray wouldn’t have to deal with looking at him so soon after what happened.

As soon as the clock hit five, Ray packed up his briefcase and rushed out of the office without so much as a goodbye to James or his other coworkers. He wouldn’t chance running into Phil, keeping his head down as he passed his boss’ office.

Once he was out the door and in the elevator, Ray slumped back against the elevator wall. He groaned, running his hands over his face just as James and a couple other coworkers stepped in before the doors closed. It didn’t really matter if they stared, but Ray still apologized quietly, shuffling over to the corner to give everyone more room. James stood beside him, concern on his face.

“You’d better not be losing your job, man.” James quietly interjected Ray’s thoughts, careful not to let the others in the elevator overhear.

“I’m not losing my job, James. I’d quit before that happens.” Ray stated firmly, adjusting the strap of his briefcase over his shoulder.

James seemed visibly relieved. They had formed somewhat of a friendship over the years, after all. “Good. Phil wouldn’t know what he’d lost if he let you go.”

Ray simply nodded. If he was on thin ice before, he was cracking the surface now, the threat of drowning now looming over his head.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t drowning in other ways, though. He could keep a neutral presence at work, but as soon as he was out those highrise doors, Ray let out a sigh of relief, releasing the tension that’d built up in his shoulders. He loosened his tie on the way to the train station, eventually shoving it into his briefcase and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. With one slide of his train pass, he descended down into the subway, standing on the platform, waiting for his train to arrive.

The ride was mostly uneventful, Ray taking a chance to snooze before his stop. His thoughts kept lingering back to Phil though. Ray just wished he could forget what happened, staring out the window as the city scenery rushed past. He mulled over his thoughts, wondering how he could recreate the previous night.

It was a secret he kept close to him, how he went out almost every night, frequenting clubs and dosing himself with a combination of alcohol and drugs, some nights ending in sex with men he would’ve hated to be around sober. That’s what bothered Ray the most—the fact that Phil was easily one of those men. If he wasn’t at work, Ray wasn’t sure how the situation would’ve truly ended. Sure, he was kissed without consent, but he’d become used to the way he was treated when he wasn’t sober.

Once out of the train, Ray ascended to ground level and out of the station. He reached his apartment, only to change into more casual clothes and to drop off his briefcase, heading back out shortly after. Ray knew he was making one bad decision after another, but he couldn’t stay away. His addictions had a vice on him, calling to him to stay less sober, to blank out his memories.

If he was being truthful, Ray had more to deal with than just the death of his grandfather. His family was less than accepting of his sexuality, and especially lately, his job was running him dry. He needed release, even if what he did wrecked him with each passing day.

Ray reached the club, but he didn’t go inside. Not yet. He texted his plug, rounding the corner to the alleyway and lounging out by the rear door before someone emerged out from the club. He nodded to the man, discreet with their exchange. They both knew better than to linger, Ray walking back around to enter the club—the man returning to his normal bartending duties.

He didn’t hesitate to slip away to the bathrooms, only taking a moment to eye a particularly attractive man standing in the corner with his drink. Ray got his fix, slipping back out of the bathrooms and towards the bar, where the man now stood. It didn’t take long for Ray’s body to feel like it’d been connected to a livewire. The headrush came first, then dissipated into pure euphoria throughout his body. It was the closest to happiness Ray could get, and he took it every chance he had.

Ordering a rum and coke, Ray turned to the man. Conversation was easy, not particularly memorable, considering his plans. Ray downed his drink, letting himself reach pure bliss. He went with the man easily, going out to the dance floor and letting himself go. They danced wordlessly, music thumping heavy throughout the venue, lights dancing around them. The man held Ray close, tension building between them as they let their hands explore, touches lingering. Ray truly felt happy in that moment, music resounding through his chest.

Their dance had become one of seduction, eyes locked, bodies impossibly close. Soon enough, Ray didn’t hesitate to lead the man back away from the dance floor, locking lips once they reached a secluded corner. His hands snakes up the man’s shirt, letting his hands rest at his abdomen, thumbs tracing the outlines of his well-toned muscles. He pulled away shortly to catch his breath, an edge now highlighting his high, making it hard to focus. The man watched him before producing a baggie full of small pink pills from his pocket, feeding one to Ray before taking one himself. He took it gratefully, heading back over to the bar for another drink.

Ray’s plans were set now, his partner for the night whispering into his ear as they leaned against the bar. They both downed a few shots together, Ray paying for his tab before they both turned to leave. The effects of everything Ray took truly hit in that moment, leaning his head against the man’s shoulder as they walked out. Early spring chill hit them and Ray shuddered, his body buzzing with each new stimuli.

He managed to give directions to his apartment, clinging to the man in and attempt to keep from eating shit on the pavement. Ray stumbled a couple times, but somehow managed to keep his head on somewhat straight as they entered the building.

Once up to his apartment though, things became a blur to Ray. He was sure he was pressed up against a wall one moment, then the room spun, ending with him being thrown against his bed. Ray struggled to keep up with each new event, the buzzing in his body becoming too loud to handle. He was sure he blacked out at one point, the night becoming one big blur.

—

Ray felt like he was too cold and too hot at the same time, the world crashing down on him as he came down from his multiple highs, shivering in his bed. His partner for the night had already fallen asleep, even though Ray had no memory of what even happened after they left the club. A wave of nausea hit him hard, and Ray was on the floor, scrambling to the bathroom before he could empty the contents of his stomach, just barely making it to the toilet bowl. With each new heave, Ray felt his heart rate pick up and he was sure he was a few hairs short of a heart attack.

In a panic, Ray ripped back the shower curtain and stumbled into his bathtub, blasting icy cold water onto his trembling form. He cried, praying to Yoba or whatever other deity would listen to him now to end his suffering. Clutching his knees, Ray sobbed, struggling to get ahold of himself. His tremors seemed to worsen and his anxiety spiked. It became almost certain he was going to die in his tub like this, when he heard heavy footfalls down the hall from his room to the bathroom.

A familiar face showed himself as he rushed inside, and Ray was now truly sure the world was mocking him even in death. He saw his bosses face staring straight at him and Ray stared back, laughing to himself although it sounded more like his teeth chattering together. Ray realized now that this wasn’t a hallucination, and Phil was truly standing in the middle of his bathroom in a panic. He’d slept with his boss, the boss that’s advanced on him and had now also taken advantage of Ray during his blackout.

“That’s some real fucked up fate isn't it?” Ray laughed again, just as Phil rushed over to help him out of the tub. He shoved Phil away from him with as much power as he could, which wasn’t much in that moment.

Phil stumbled back. “You knew what you were doing.” He stated firmly, reaching to shut the water off.

“J-just keep telling t-telling yourself that.” Ray stuttered out, his tremors hitting hard again once the water stopped.

“I stand by what I said.” Phil grabbed Ray’s arms and forced him out this time, keeping him on the floor as he went to search for towels. Ray yelped at the sudden movement, curling up on the cool, tiled floor.

“F-fuck you.” Ray spat, grabbing the towel handed to him and wrapping it around himself with shaky hands. He managed to get to his feet, leaning heavily against the sink for leverage.

Phil ignored Ray, sighing as he grabbed his arm again, dragging him out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. “You need medical attention.” He stated, grabbing their clothes in a rush.

Ray resisted, pulling back and away from the man. He didn’t need anything. It was normal for Ray at this point, to nurse himself back to health after a bad comedown. This was the worst by far, sure, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t fix himself and he wasn’t about to be admitted into rehab.

With a grunt, he finally wrenched free of Phil’s grip, falling flat on his ass as his stomach threatened to discard its contents again. “I don’t need your help!” Ray tried his best to stand his ground as best he could with his body slowly shutting down on him.

“Yes, you do, you’re going to die and I can’t have that on my hands!” Phil yelled back at Ray, lunging forward to grab him again, but Ray scooted back to keep their distance.

“What if I wanna die?!” Ray yelled back at him, hysteria getting to him as he laughed. “I’d rather die like this. Or do you want to prolong my pain? Watch me squirm and suffer like the fucking sadist you are. Tell me, did you enjoy fucking me when I blacked out? Too high off my ass to consent?” Another tremor hit Ray hard as he curled in on himself, trying to keep his head up to see Phil’s reaction.

Phil stiffened at Ray’s words, sneering at the man as he got himself dressed. “Yeah, you moaned like a whore.” He laughed. “Seemed like you really enjoyed yourself, especially after what happened in the office.”

He turned on his heel to leave, only pausing to look back at Ray. “Don’t bother coming into work tomorrow. But your more than welcome to collect your stuff in the morning.”

Phil left with a laugh, the slam of Ray’s apartment door signaling when he was finally gone. Ray slumped down against his bed frame, all of his emotions suddenly hitting him hard as he sobbed into hands. His life was over now, his own self destruction being his demise.

All he could do now was cry and wait for his crash to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think! I’m always down for CC!


End file.
